Fight yourself: How to fix your own bad attitude

There is a 'quote' that has been passed around the world of basketball recently. It states, 'there are three people that can't have a bad practice: the head coach, the point guard, and the best player'. This idea is not advocating for the importance of influential members of a team to be flawless in their skill. It is emphasizing that a 'bad' practice is almost always about the attitude and the focus of the individual.

Any leader in any industry can apply this idea to their day to day job. Leaders cannot have a bad attitude. If they do, lots of other people they are responsible to will have a bad attitude. This is the responsibility of leadership. Leaders are thermostats, not thermometers. If you don't like it, you might want to reconsider being a leader. 

Can I be honest? The older I get, the more I struggle with my attitude. The jadedness that wants to creep in after 20+ years in the same industry is real. *Carey Nieuwhof's 'Didn't See it Coming' is a great read about this topic* I am a positive, people person. I enjoy being connected and finding ways to say 'yes' to the people I lead. I was on the phone with another leader recently, and he said 'I am just not in a good place.' It really convicted me because it brought to the forefront of my mind how often I am not in a good place. As a leader, I know I can't have bad days (or at least let those I am leading know that I am having a bad day). I have to maintain a good attitude. 

Here's how I am learning to fight myself and fix my own bad attitude:

Recognize you have a bad attitude - Martin Luther King Jr. once said that 'nothing is more dangerous than ignorance.' Too often, good leaders move about their day with a bad attitude ignorant to the fact that it is impacting their performance and negatively influencing others. A consistent quiet time each morning, reading or journaling can you help you reflect on your bad attitude. Good leaders reflect often and this is critical to recognizing you have a bad attitude. The solution to ignorance of your bad attitude is to first become aware of your bad attitude. 

Call a timeout for yourself - Early in my coaching career, I could see my team heading in the wrong direction during a game but I did not respond until it was too late. As I accumulated experience, I could see bad situations brewing and call a time out to save us from ourselves. The analogy applies very well to fighting yourself and fixing your own bad attitude. There has been a couple times when I became fully conscious of my bad attitude and I called timeout. I just walked away. It may have been in the form of putting my phone down, standing up from my computer, or driving off campus for lunch. I felt myself teetering on dangerous decision making fueled by a bad attitude. When you have a bad attitude, call a timeout for yourself. You will not regret calling a timeout, but you may regret if you don't. 

Get a hold of another like-minded leader - This suggestion happened to me, I did not figure it out. I was in a bad spot one day and happened to receive a call from another leader who was looking to blow off some steam. After the two of us popped off for a while, we encouraged each other to keep pressing on. I hung up the phone and felt ready to take on the rest of the day. There are two important things that took place on that call. First, I was able to speak with someone that I knew could empathize with my frustrations. Second, each of us have a moral compass in place that would not allow the complaining to be the end of the conversation. This kept our commiserating from devolving into complaining. We wanted to encourage each other to get back up and keep going for our people. Speaking with another like-minded leader can be a great fix to your own bad attitude. 

Develop a habit of gratitude - I am learning how gratitude is more a skill and less of a natural outcome of even the most optimistic leader. Here are three ways to practice the skill of gratitude. 1) End every email that you send (not every reply) with something that you are grateful about to the sender. 2) Write down something you are grateful for every day. It can be in an official journal, or on post-it notes that you keep in your bedroom. 3) Text someone something that you are grateful about everyday. There are a lot of other ways to practice gratitude. The question is, 'are you practicing?' 

There is an endless list of reasons to have a bad attitude everyday. Part of being a good leader is leading yourself well and that means you have to fight yourself and fix your own bad attitude. 

‘Bite Down and Don’t Let Go’ is a collection of writings on being intentional about life in a way that produces great persistence. Read about it more here.

Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart and they have three teen age children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for all sorts of inspirational thoughts and good laughs.