SO YOU THINK YOU ARE A TEAM PLAYER? Here are 4 situations that might prove you wrong

This is an important post. I hope it prompts you to reflect. I'll get to the point shortly. 

But

I'm a vigilant defender of Michael Jordan, who is the greatest basketball player of all time. You'll have to endure a story of his evolution before I get to what I think you must think about. Ok? Ok. 

During Jordan's first seven years in the league, he was an explosive athlete with a seemingly alien-like ability to put the ball in the basket. His ferocious appetite for competition quickly became the stuff of legends. However, he could not win an NBA championship despite being considered the best player in the league. When his team faced its toughest challenges, his competitive fire got the best of him, and he tried to do everything himself. He wanted to win badly, but he wanted to win for his own sake, not the sake of his team. Eventually, he figured out how to elevate his teammates and rely on them; the rest is history. 

Unfortunately, families, friends, and careers are a little less clear than sports. The lessons we should and could learn from our struggles arrive much slower with much less fanfare than winning a professional sports championship. In the worst of scenarios, we never learn these critical lessons. And that is exactly what I don't want to happen. So my question is, 'Are you a team player...really?' 

Most of us like the people we work with, value our friends and love our families. We think we are team players. We want to be team players. And then, the inevitable discomfort of life's challenges shows up, and we quickly find out we were wrong. We get selfish. We believe the worst about others. We hide from the struggle. We turn on each other. We leave our people to struggle through hard things on their own. 

Here are the challenges that can destroy my illusion that I'm a team player and a couple things that I've learned about how you can prepare yourself. 

The challenge of COMPLEXITY - 'Both of these things can be true.' 'There's a lot of nuance there.' 'Sometimes, you don't know what you don't know.' These are just a couple lines I use when things get complex. Life is not black and white. People are complicated. Organizations have competing interests. Circumstances shift in real-time. Complexity has a way of exposing what you really value, and sometimes, what you really value is not in the best interest of the group. 

How do you prepare yourself for the challenge of complexity? Take time to understand the perspective of others. 

The challenge of CRISES - Crises is an accelerator. It makes things happen faster, including exposing your commitment to the group. The Chinese character that indicates crises actually means 'dangerous opportunity.' For some, crises become an incredible opportunity. For many, it is a dangerous scenario that can pull team members apart. 

How do you prepare yourself for the challenge of crises? Invest time in developing your relationship with team members so that you can withstand the tumultuous waves of crises. 

The challenge of CHANGE - Famed motivational speaker Tony Robbins says, 'People won't change until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of changing.' It's a catchy phrase, but think about what it implies. Change is painful, and we strive to avoid pain at all costs, even if it means abandoning our team members. 

How do you prepare yourself for the challenge of change? Force yourself out of your comfort zone in little ways. Practice being comfortable with things that are different. 

The challenge of CELEBRATION - There is nothing as distasteful as glumly sitting back in the shadows with a fake smile as another team member is celebrated for their contribution. And yet, I think every one of us has felt this toxic emotion at one time or another. Worse yet, some will find a way to diminish the accomplishments of a teammate by pointing out a time they did not perform quite as stellar. 

How do you prepare yourself for the challenge of celebration? Become the lead celebrator. Look for ways to be the one that initiates the celebration of team members. 

Keep on, keepin' on, friends!

Bite Down and Don’t Let Go is a collection of writings on relentlessly leading yourself and others well. Read about it more here. You can listen to the Bite Down and Don't Let Go podcast here! 

Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart, and they have three children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for inspirational thoughts and good laughs.