MARSHMALLOWS
You may not know this, but marshmallows have played a critical role in our society. Smores, hot chocolate, sweet potato casserole, and the vastly underrated fluffernutter validate the importance of these edible clouds.
Of even greater value to our society is the discovery of the second marshmallow.
Child physiologist, Dr. Walter Mischel of Stanford University, conducted the now famous ‘marshmallow test’ in 1972. Dr. Mischel offered a child a marshmallow. Just before the child consumed the marshmallow, Dr. Mischel informed the child that he was going to leave the room and return in 15 minutes. If the first marshmallow was still there, he would give the child a second marshmallow. The results were predictable with most of the children eating the first marshmallow and merrily going on their way.
UNEXPECTED FINDINGS
Years later, Dr. Mischel re-engaged with the children from his study and what he found was unexpected. The children who demonstrated the self-control to wait for the second marshmallow were functioning at higher levels as teens and young adults than their first marshmallow-consuming counterparts.
Dr. Mischel’s test is a simple demonstration of the interplay between self-control, critical thinking, and living abundantly. To be self-controlled requires thinking critically about why being self-controlled, and living abundantly is why we should strive to be self-controlled (did you follow that?) Maybe a better way to understand the importance of this is to view it through your time. Self-control allows you to invest your time. A lack of self-control leads you to spend your time. Which is the better use of your time?
Here are four ways self control turns into a lot more
SELF CONTROL TURNS KNOWLEDGE INTO ACTION
My brother, an educational leader for more than 20 years, has a great quote. 'You know the difference between a good idea and a bad one? Feet.' Coach Keith Allen, an outstanding football coach and dear friend, often said to me, 'Winning is reserved for those who take action.' You probably have more than a few good ideas and even better intentions. And that is all they are unless you have the self-control to put them into action and keep acting on them.
SELF CONTROL TURNS VIRTUES INTO HABITS
Stories of selfless love, courageous heroism, and unyielding integrity inspire us. They call us up to a better version of ourselves. Yet, it does not take long to see how quickly we fail to rise to those aspirational levels. Why? There are a lot of reasons, but here is one of them: we do not engage in self-control in the small matters that allow us to develop our virtues through habits. Washing the dishes is one of those virtue-developing habits for me. One of the ways that I have attempted to develop my selflessness for the sake of my family is by developing the habit of cleaning up the kitchen after meals. I don't like doing it all, but we are a very busy family of five and that is a habit that helps me selflessly lead them. What virtue could you develop through a self-controlled fueled habit?
SELF CONTROL TURNS PRACTICE INTO PERFORMANCE
I have studied the development of skills extensively. It is fascinating what someone can train themselves to do if they've trained long enough. One of the petty grievances I have is when an incredibly skilled performer is admired because they have 'talent'. In almost every instance, they do not have talent. They have a skill that has been developed to hard-to-imagine effectiveness. They have self-control applied to practice that produces a performance that leaves us awestruck. What level of performance could you achieve if you used self-control to practice relentlessly?
SELF CONTROL TURNS SELFISH INTO SELFLESS
This might be the most important benefit of self-control. We are all subjected to selfishness. Just observe a toddler with their toys. Sharing is not a default setting. Yet, selflessness is critical to relationships, families, teams, and healthy organizations. How often do you use self-control to set aside what you want and prioritize what is in the best interest of others? I would venture to guess you've never lost out when you have done so. I would also venture to guess that an individual lacking self-control and prioritizing themselves over others will struggle to find meaningful relationships and teams to be a part of.
Kind of funny what we can learn from two marshmallows, isn't it?
Keep on, keepin' on, friends!
Bite Down and Don’t Let Go is a collection of writings on relentlessly leading yourself and others well. Read about it more here.
Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart and they have three teenage children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for inspirational thoughts and good laughs.
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