Weight training is the activity that separates good athletes from great athletes. It can teach a person so much more than technique. Lessons such as self-discipline, maximum effort, and perseverance can be learned in “HD” quality through an extended weight training program. In my personal weight training journey, I was reminded of another lesson: the value of a spotter. Any good weight training program will eventually require the assistance of a partner to “spot” the athlete. The “spotter’s” job is to ensure the athlete pushes themselves beyond their maximum potential and then assist them once they get there. The spotter assists the athlete, allowing them to do more than they could on their own. The result is that the athlete, at some point in the future, can manage the weight load alone without the spotter's assistance. It is certainly possible for an athlete to progress without a spotter; however, the presence of a spotter reduces the risk of injury, increases the athlete's safety, and speeds up the rate at which the athlete progresses.
A few years back, I put a tremendous amount of weight (for me, at least) on my back to squat it. Note: The squat involves sitting down into a seated position and standing back up while holding a bar across the top of your shoulders and upper back. That’s an oversimplified explanation, but you get the point. It was the most weight I had ever attempted to squat. As I lowered myself into the seated stance, I realized I wasn’t standing back up alone! UH-OH! Now, understand me; I pushed myself back up with every ounce of effort I could muster - as evidenced by the vein bulging in my forehead! At no point did I ever quit pushing; however, if it weren’t for the assistance of my spotter, I would’ve never stood back up, and I may have even injured myself. My spotter provided much-needed help in what could’ve been a very precarious situation!
Here’s the point: you can tackle so much more in life when you surround yourself with the right people, and they help you handle the load. Here are three suggestions of the type of people you should consider surrounding yourself with:
People who will be honest with you. When you are on the wrong side of an argument and go to your friends for advice, will they tell you that you’re on the wrong side of the argument? It takes a special friend with guts to tell us what we NEED to hear and not what we WANT to hear. Most of our friends value their comfort too much for that honesty. If you have that one friend you know will be honest, remind them that it’s their most valuable character trait, and it’s why you value them as a friend.
People who are different than you. I once had a friend who simply did not love athletics like I did. He never understood why I would go into a deep funk after every loss. It all seemed pointless to him for me to waste so much energy on teenagers and their sports. However, he thought it was inspiring when I would go above and beyond to help one of my players learn an important life lesson. It reminded me vividly what mattered (impacting young people) and what didn’t (career-winning percentage). My friend’s different perspective forced me to think about my priorities. I’ve found that friends with very different interests cause me to see the difference between the things I value that truly matter and those that don’t matter at all. When it comes to friendships, opposites do not necessarily attract. We spend most of our time with people of the same philosophies, mentalities, and interests. If you’re extroverted, spend some time with introverted people. If you’re conservative, spend time with some liberal friends. If you are an athlete, spend time with someone who would rather attend a concert than a sporting event. The point of spending time with them isn’t to convince one or the other to change their mind. The point is their different opinions and perspectives can clarify yours.
People who are better than you at what you do. If you take a deep breath and think with relative humility, it shouldn’t take long to think of someone you know who does what you do, only better. Now, figure out how to spend time with and learn from them. During my first year as a varsity coach, I beat our arch-rival in my very first match-up with them. It was a rarity because they had the upper hand in our rivalry more often than not. Over the next four years, my 1-0 record against them quickly turned to 1-7. I had lunch a half-dozen times with that coach (Danny) during my last two years at that school, and the difference in our teams' perspectives was laughable. Danny felt his team could lose on any night, and he coached like that. He made whatever adjustments were necessary to get the win, and he was rarely frustrated by the results. I felt like I should beat any team on any night and coached like it. I stubbornly stuck with my ‘system,’ blamed the players for not executing, and was always frustrated with the results. To make the contrast even more laughable, Danny averaged 20 wins per year in my time coaching against him, and I did not. The difference was Danny was humble, didn’t over-estimate his kids, and coached from there. I was over-confident, asked my kids to do things they couldn’t, and suffered the frustration of unmet expectations. Danny was better than me. My time with him was humbling and valuable.
I’d strongly encourage you to surround yourself with great spotters. They’ll help you get stronger and keep you from getting crushed under the weight of life along the way.
Keep on, keepin' on, friends.
Bite Down and Don’t Let Go is a collection of writings on relentlessly leading yourself and others well. Read about it more here. You can listen to the Bite Down and Don't Let Go podcast here!
Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart, and they have three children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for inspirational thoughts and good laughs
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