Faux. Have you ever heard the word? It means attempting to make the inauthentic appear authentic. The first time I came across the word was during a home improvement project. A faux wall was part of the renovation. The wall would look real but be functionally useless. You couldn't hang shelves, support a beam on it, or do much else with it. The faux wall is good-looking but cannot be relied on.
A clip recently surfaced of a famous professional athlete sulking in the locker room after his team had won a championship. The athlete suffered a season-ending injury just before the playoffs began, yet the team won the championship primarily because of the play of the injured player's backup. It was curious that the player's promising career seemed to stall out after that injury despite a full recovery. In some ways, I sensed he was bitter about how that particular season played out, and it warped his status with his teammates. In some ways, it may have warped his character, and character is always more important than competence. I do not know how authentic the video is, but this talented athlete appears to be a faux teammate. Faux teammates constantly get exposed. The inevitable stress of working together shows up, and you discover who is in and who is out. You find out who is 'built for it,' as one reporter commented.
What about you? Are you built for it? Are you in? Can your colleagues and associates depend on you even when it doesn't directly benefit you? How about your family? Can they rely on you to be all in when it's easier to duck and run? It's something we should all consider. We may not be on a sports team competing for a championship, but many people rely on us in various group settings.
Here are five ways to consider if you are the real thing or a faux teammate.
You might be a faux teammate if you see someone you can help but don't. There are many reasons not to help someone on your team in need. You're busy. You have your priorities. You have deadlines to meet. They might have made the mess. They should've known better. These are the reasons a faux teammate gives for not assisting someone in need. Don't be a faux teammate.
You might be a faux teammate if you see feedback coming and line up your excuses. I have found feedback described well through the analogy of water. Those that accept feedback are like fresh streams of moving water. Alive. Vibrant. Those that avoid feedback are like a stagnant pond. Stale. Scummy. When feedback comes your way from a teammate, keep your mouth shut and your excuses to yourself. Listen. And thank them for their willingness to share their perspectives with you. Their feedback is keeping you alive and vibrant.
You might be a faux teammate if you see someone approaching a critical error but don't alert them. I have held two leadership roles where the previous leader was still on the campus with me. Often, they were gracious in alerting me to possible errors and how to solve them before they arrived. I always tried to listen to their alerts. It accelerated my leadership effectiveness. I have wanted to pay that forward by keeping my eyes open for situations where teammates must be alerted of a possible critical error. I want to be the type of teammate that others can rely on.
You might be a faux teammate if you see someone achieve but won't congratulate them. A person who refuses to celebrate a teammate's success won't be on the team much longer. I have seen it often. You can set a short clock on the time they have left as part of the group. Their refusal to celebrate their teammate was evidence of many more significant issues that surfaced sooner rather than later. If you want to hold on to your position, get excited about your colleagues' success.
You might be a faux teammate if an apology is necessary but won't offer it. Refusing to apologize is committing to end a relationship. It's refusing to be part of the solution. It's refusing to facilitate healing. A teammate who apologizes turns a bad moment into a critical one when the team becomes stronger. But that can only be true if you are not a faux teammate.
Faux teammates, like faux walls, might look like the real deal, but they cannot be relied on by others. Be the type of teammate that others can depend on and keep on, keepin' on!
Bite Down and Don’t Let Go is a collection of writings on relentlessly leading yourself and others well. Read about it more here. You can listen to the Bite Down and Don't Let Go podcast here!
Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart, and they have three children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for inspirational thoughts and good laughs.
Comments
Post a Comment