I think it's safe to assume that if you're reading this you have access to the internet and are aware of the tragic passing of Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and 7 of their friends in a helicopter accident. I'm 41 (just like Kobe) and let's say I began paying attention to the larger world when I was 12 years old. You can do the math and your own internet search, but I'm not sure there's been an unexpected death of an individual that has been felt as globally and met with as much heart break as Kobe's. That has to be true for at least the western world, right? I'm writing this because the tragedy has forced me to reflect, connect with old friends and speak to them with a somber tone. It feels like the whole world is reflecting because of Kobe's death. He was a world-wide phenomenon that took his platform and influence seriously. From my perspective he was a proud ambassador for the United States, for the game of basketball, for the game of soccer, for being bi-lingual, for being a father, for women's sports, and for obsessive work ethic. And that's just off the top of my head.
I did not always view Kobe that way. My perceptions of Kobe evolved. From my vantage point he matured. Failed. Learned. Overcame.
Punk Kid...
He was one of the first modern day players to skip college and go right to the NBA. Some proclaimed he would take Michael Jordan's throne some day. Neither of these things sat well with the general sports community and especially me, a lover of college basketball and disciple of Michael Jordan! It was perceived as ego-maniacal. A punk kid spurning the college basketball establishment and being ok with unearned comparisons to the greatest player ever? Get the heck out of here!
Rogue destroyer of dynasties...
Well, a lot of the hype started to come true as he and Shaquille (Shaq) O'Neal quickly took over the NBA for three straight championships. But egos grew and Shaq and Kobe couldn't be in the same room together let alone the same team. The Lakers chose Kobe and traded Shaq. Most of the sports world was outraged since Shaq was a 3 time finals MVP and NBA MVP. Kobe appeared to not understand that he was Robin and he just ran Batman out of town. Trouble brewed as Kobe was believed to be a team destroyer. Selfish. A terrible teammate. The Lakers stunk and Kobe raged. He even appeared to be self-destructive as off court allegations and legal trouble brewed. Most of the world, including me, felt Kobe's true colors were reaping their just rewards.
Somehow, Kobe pulled through.
Obsessive, battle scarred champion warrior...
Kobe, with the help of an unusual band of teammates, dragged the Lakers back to relevance. Kobe's work habits were obsessive. He awoke at 4 a.m. almost every day to work on his skills. The Lakers soon returned to the top of the NBA. They lost the NBA championship to the rival Boston Celtics, but Kobe was league MVP and the Lakers were a force. They would return to the championship in the next two seasons, winning both. The final championship was against the hated rival, Boston Celtics, again. It would take a full 7 games and Kobe would shoot the ball pretty poorly but grab 14 rebounds and make just enough shots to will his team to win the 7th game and his 5th NBA championship. Note: I rooted against Kobe the entire time! During this stretch, he would proudly captain USA basketball back to the top of the world stage as Gold Medal winners. He was a champion. A patriot. A battle scarred warrior. Only the closed minded would not give him respect as one of the greatest players and winners of all time. The Lakers winning ways would fade as Kobe grew older but he had one hard-to-understand display of will power left as he poured in 60 points in his final game ever. It was an incredible 48 minutes of determination. His home arena in Los Angeles was packed with global stars to see Kobe's final game. I attended Michael Jordan's final game. It was awesome but Jordan was not. No one expected him to be. Jordan was old. Tired. And so was Kobe. Kobe no longer ran very fast or jumped very high but somehow, someway, Kobe showed iconic determination one last time while the entire world watched his final game. 60 points including the game winning shot and free throws in the last minute. Goosebumps. (remember, I'm a Jordan apologist which makes me a Kobe antagonist, but it was unfathomable what he did)
Wise Sage...
As Kobe's basketball career faded and his second life as a retired athlete started he became open with his advice. And when you've evolved the way Kobe has through all of these different stages, people listen to your advice. He gave advice on proper priorities (a ton has been written about his priority of parenting and being a great father). He gave advice on work ethic, determination, learning, and basketball too.
When I learned of Kobe's death, my first reaction was one of sadness. That struck me as weird because I didn't know that I had come to respect Kobe the way I did. That caused an internal conflict for me? Why am I sad about the passiong of a player I rooted against, or didn't even really respect until after his career? Why am I somber about a celebrity that I didn't know?
Two lessons from my reflections on Kobe:
1 - Give people space to grow, learn, and re-define themselves. I'm a student of the Bible and it is full of stories of people like Abraham, Moses, David, Peter, and Paul that were a constant work in progress. They had immense impact on the world but were full of flaws.God gave them space and displayed patience as they grew. Learned. Failed. Tried again. And ultimately redefine who they were. Their mistakes were part of their story, it just wasn't the end of their story. I didn't like Kobe for most of his career. I made assumptions based on what I thought about his character. Maybe some of those assumptions were right for a time but shame on me for not sitting back, watching and waiting as a sports fan to see the end of the story. I was almost stunned when I reflected and realized that I had come to really respect him and that he was actively making lots of people around him better for the last decade and a half. The most recent example is his support of the arrival of Lebron James to his beloved Lakers. Kobe clearly wanted Lebron to join him in the pantheon of Lakers champions and greats. Kobe appeared to care less about his status with the Lakers or whether or not Lebron was threat to that. He just wanted what was best for the Lakers. The internet is bursting with stories of Kobe taking time to speak into the lives of people around him now that the entire sports world and beyond is reflecting on Kobe's life. Kobe declared in his retirement speech that the dream is not the accomplishment, the dream is the opportunity to full invest yourself in the process. It's almost like one of his motivations to get the top of the NBA mountaintop was that so he could share with others everything he learned by trying to get there. It inspires me.
2 - Curiosity is a big key to my own growth, and learning. As I dug a little deeper into this realization, I came across a theme in Kobe stories. CURIOSITY. Kobe was curious about the roles he had in his life. You can read about his curiosity here, read about a NBA coach's observation of Kobe's curiosity here, or listen to Kobe talk about it here. Rex Chapman, a retired NBA veteran who was known for being a very streaky shooter, tells a great story. As Rex's career was winding down, Kobe was beginning his ascent in the NBA. Rex was on fire one night, making every shot he took against the Lakers. During a break in the action, Kobe leaned into Rex and asked him, 'How many shots do you make per day in season? What about out of season?' It was almost like Kobe was actively conscious of his responsibility to learn as much as he could even in the midst of competing. He was curious as to why Rex was able to make shots in bursts like what was happening that evening. It's why I love the picture in this post of Kobe clearly asking Jordan a question. Carey Nieuwhof in his book, 'I Didn't See It Coming' identifies the death of curiosity as a sure fire sign you're no longer growing and having an impact. We need to keep asking questions. Keep stealing ideas. Keep forcing change on ourselves before it gets forced on us. Keep discarding ideas that don't work even if it's the way we've always done it. Kobe understood that.
I want to close by saying that this entire post is full of my perceptions and my reflections. I'm not saying anyone else should view Kobe the way I do. I think the whole world sees his life and death from very different angles. Maybe I wrote it just to help me process why I was so somber over the death of an NBA superstar I didn't know. Maybe my reflections on Kobe say a lot more about me than anything else. Maybe I'm maturing, evolving, growing (I hope so). Maybe this will add value to someone else's life. I think Kobe would be ok with that but that's just my perception too.
I did not always view Kobe that way. My perceptions of Kobe evolved. From my vantage point he matured. Failed. Learned. Overcame.
Punk Kid...
He was one of the first modern day players to skip college and go right to the NBA. Some proclaimed he would take Michael Jordan's throne some day. Neither of these things sat well with the general sports community and especially me, a lover of college basketball and disciple of Michael Jordan! It was perceived as ego-maniacal. A punk kid spurning the college basketball establishment and being ok with unearned comparisons to the greatest player ever? Get the heck out of here!
Rogue destroyer of dynasties...
Well, a lot of the hype started to come true as he and Shaquille (Shaq) O'Neal quickly took over the NBA for three straight championships. But egos grew and Shaq and Kobe couldn't be in the same room together let alone the same team. The Lakers chose Kobe and traded Shaq. Most of the sports world was outraged since Shaq was a 3 time finals MVP and NBA MVP. Kobe appeared to not understand that he was Robin and he just ran Batman out of town. Trouble brewed as Kobe was believed to be a team destroyer. Selfish. A terrible teammate. The Lakers stunk and Kobe raged. He even appeared to be self-destructive as off court allegations and legal trouble brewed. Most of the world, including me, felt Kobe's true colors were reaping their just rewards.
Somehow, Kobe pulled through.
Obsessive, battle scarred champion warrior...
Kobe, with the help of an unusual band of teammates, dragged the Lakers back to relevance. Kobe's work habits were obsessive. He awoke at 4 a.m. almost every day to work on his skills. The Lakers soon returned to the top of the NBA. They lost the NBA championship to the rival Boston Celtics, but Kobe was league MVP and the Lakers were a force. They would return to the championship in the next two seasons, winning both. The final championship was against the hated rival, Boston Celtics, again. It would take a full 7 games and Kobe would shoot the ball pretty poorly but grab 14 rebounds and make just enough shots to will his team to win the 7th game and his 5th NBA championship. Note: I rooted against Kobe the entire time! During this stretch, he would proudly captain USA basketball back to the top of the world stage as Gold Medal winners. He was a champion. A patriot. A battle scarred warrior. Only the closed minded would not give him respect as one of the greatest players and winners of all time. The Lakers winning ways would fade as Kobe grew older but he had one hard-to-understand display of will power left as he poured in 60 points in his final game ever. It was an incredible 48 minutes of determination. His home arena in Los Angeles was packed with global stars to see Kobe's final game. I attended Michael Jordan's final game. It was awesome but Jordan was not. No one expected him to be. Jordan was old. Tired. And so was Kobe. Kobe no longer ran very fast or jumped very high but somehow, someway, Kobe showed iconic determination one last time while the entire world watched his final game. 60 points including the game winning shot and free throws in the last minute. Goosebumps. (remember, I'm a Jordan apologist which makes me a Kobe antagonist, but it was unfathomable what he did)
Wise Sage...
As Kobe's basketball career faded and his second life as a retired athlete started he became open with his advice. And when you've evolved the way Kobe has through all of these different stages, people listen to your advice. He gave advice on proper priorities (a ton has been written about his priority of parenting and being a great father). He gave advice on work ethic, determination, learning, and basketball too.
When I learned of Kobe's death, my first reaction was one of sadness. That struck me as weird because I didn't know that I had come to respect Kobe the way I did. That caused an internal conflict for me? Why am I sad about the passiong of a player I rooted against, or didn't even really respect until after his career? Why am I somber about a celebrity that I didn't know?
Two lessons from my reflections on Kobe:
1 - Give people space to grow, learn, and re-define themselves. I'm a student of the Bible and it is full of stories of people like Abraham, Moses, David, Peter, and Paul that were a constant work in progress. They had immense impact on the world but were full of flaws.God gave them space and displayed patience as they grew. Learned. Failed. Tried again. And ultimately redefine who they were. Their mistakes were part of their story, it just wasn't the end of their story. I didn't like Kobe for most of his career. I made assumptions based on what I thought about his character. Maybe some of those assumptions were right for a time but shame on me for not sitting back, watching and waiting as a sports fan to see the end of the story. I was almost stunned when I reflected and realized that I had come to really respect him and that he was actively making lots of people around him better for the last decade and a half. The most recent example is his support of the arrival of Lebron James to his beloved Lakers. Kobe clearly wanted Lebron to join him in the pantheon of Lakers champions and greats. Kobe appeared to care less about his status with the Lakers or whether or not Lebron was threat to that. He just wanted what was best for the Lakers. The internet is bursting with stories of Kobe taking time to speak into the lives of people around him now that the entire sports world and beyond is reflecting on Kobe's life. Kobe declared in his retirement speech that the dream is not the accomplishment, the dream is the opportunity to full invest yourself in the process. It's almost like one of his motivations to get the top of the NBA mountaintop was that so he could share with others everything he learned by trying to get there. It inspires me.
2 - Curiosity is a big key to my own growth, and learning. As I dug a little deeper into this realization, I came across a theme in Kobe stories. CURIOSITY. Kobe was curious about the roles he had in his life. You can read about his curiosity here, read about a NBA coach's observation of Kobe's curiosity here, or listen to Kobe talk about it here. Rex Chapman, a retired NBA veteran who was known for being a very streaky shooter, tells a great story. As Rex's career was winding down, Kobe was beginning his ascent in the NBA. Rex was on fire one night, making every shot he took against the Lakers. During a break in the action, Kobe leaned into Rex and asked him, 'How many shots do you make per day in season? What about out of season?' It was almost like Kobe was actively conscious of his responsibility to learn as much as he could even in the midst of competing. He was curious as to why Rex was able to make shots in bursts like what was happening that evening. It's why I love the picture in this post of Kobe clearly asking Jordan a question. Carey Nieuwhof in his book, 'I Didn't See It Coming' identifies the death of curiosity as a sure fire sign you're no longer growing and having an impact. We need to keep asking questions. Keep stealing ideas. Keep forcing change on ourselves before it gets forced on us. Keep discarding ideas that don't work even if it's the way we've always done it. Kobe understood that.
I want to close by saying that this entire post is full of my perceptions and my reflections. I'm not saying anyone else should view Kobe the way I do. I think the whole world sees his life and death from very different angles. Maybe I wrote it just to help me process why I was so somber over the death of an NBA superstar I didn't know. Maybe my reflections on Kobe say a lot more about me than anything else. Maybe I'm maturing, evolving, growing (I hope so). Maybe this will add value to someone else's life. I think Kobe would be ok with that but that's just my perception too.
Bite Down and Don’t Let Go’ is a collection of writings on relentlessly leading yourself and others well. Read about it more here. You can listen to the Bite Down and Don't Let Go podcast here!
Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart and they have three teen age children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for all sorts of inspirational thoughts and good laughs.
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