We live in a low trust society. How did we get here? In short, the awareness caused by the internet. We are aware of the most disheartening, discouraging, and at times disgusting stories of human failure everywhere. It used to be that you only knew of these terrible stories when it was global news or just around the corner from you. Today? Well today we know about these tragic stories from every street corner in every town in every country around the world. The ability to communicate information immediately around the globe coupled with media sources scrambling for clicks has exposed us to worst of human kind all the time. We can know these horrific happenings immediately and revisit them as often as we like. I do not think people are any worse today than they were in previous decades or centuries. I think people have always been capable of the most awful things and have demonstrated that consistently.
I recently read four different historical books on major happenings from the late 1800s and early 1900s. The decisions of historical leaders to put progress or power or their own personal agendas ahead of the sacrifice of human life was horrific. These were trusted leaders who we historically view in a positive manner. What they did was as bad as anything we could imagine but people for the most part just weren't as aware. We are aware now. The result? A low trust society. It used to be that leaders of all levels enjoyed the automatic offering of trust until they violated that trust. Not today. Almost any and all trust is begrudgingly earned from people today.
A leader really cannot even begin to lead unless they have trust, and trust is one of those things that if someone doesn't offer it up it leave things stuck in a stale mate. So what is the best way to lead people in today's low trust society?
SCARS. That's right, scars. We all have them and most of them are mental, emotional, and relational rather than physical. And they are a wonderful way to establish trust. In todays' over informed society, stories still work to influence and inspire. Stories about scars work even better.
How to be open and honest about your scars in a way that builds trust...
Where have you been? Past experiences that involve pain can be powerful. Maybe you failed at something. Maybe someone hurt you. Maybe life just did what life often does and brought pain to your front door with no one to blame. As time separates you from that experience and perspective settles in consider sharing that story in appropriate ways with the people you are responsible to influence.
Where are you now? The fact that you are still standing after a painful past experience can be an incredible encouragement to someone who is in the midst of what you have already dealt with. Sometimes, dealing with scars is simply about getting through it. I would love to tell you that we should always be thriving rather than surviving, take life by the throat, make it submit to you, blah, blah, blah. The reality is that there are times when survival is the only reality and sharing that reality with others can build a lot of trust. People are inspired by survivors more than they are influenced by superheroes.
Where are you going? Now that you have your scars, now that you have healed, you should continue to press forward. Showing up and leaning in after painful experiences can enhance your influence on others. Your mission or vision is validated on a platform of pain. The wisdom that you have accumulated and the way you have re-calibrated your life set an example for others to follow because they can relate to your pain. We can all relate to pain.
A leader really cannot even begin to lead unless they have trust, and trust is one of those things that if someone doesn't offer it up it leave things stuck in a stale mate. So what is the best way to lead people in today's low trust society?
SCARS. That's right, scars. We all have them and most of them are mental, emotional, and relational rather than physical. And they are a wonderful way to establish trust. In todays' over informed society, stories still work to influence and inspire. Stories about scars work even better.
How to be open and honest about your scars in a way that builds trust...
Where have you been? Past experiences that involve pain can be powerful. Maybe you failed at something. Maybe someone hurt you. Maybe life just did what life often does and brought pain to your front door with no one to blame. As time separates you from that experience and perspective settles in consider sharing that story in appropriate ways with the people you are responsible to influence.
Where are you now? The fact that you are still standing after a painful past experience can be an incredible encouragement to someone who is in the midst of what you have already dealt with. Sometimes, dealing with scars is simply about getting through it. I would love to tell you that we should always be thriving rather than surviving, take life by the throat, make it submit to you, blah, blah, blah. The reality is that there are times when survival is the only reality and sharing that reality with others can build a lot of trust. People are inspired by survivors more than they are influenced by superheroes.
Where are you going? Now that you have your scars, now that you have healed, you should continue to press forward. Showing up and leaning in after painful experiences can enhance your influence on others. Your mission or vision is validated on a platform of pain. The wisdom that you have accumulated and the way you have re-calibrated your life set an example for others to follow because they can relate to your pain. We can all relate to pain.
I have often said that, 'a leader cannot change people until he becomes viewed as one of the people'. You can become one of the 'people' by being open about the things that make you normal, even, frail. Transparency is the solution to leading people in a low trust society.
Do not let your scars go to waste. There are lots of people around you that need to be inspired by your scars so that they can heal from theirs.
Do not let your scars go to waste. There are lots of people around you that need to be inspired by your scars so that they can heal from theirs.
Keep on, keepin' on, friends!
Bite Down and Don’t Let Go’ is a collection of writings on relentlessly leading yourself and others well. Read about it more here. You can listen to the Bite Down and Don't Let Go podcast here!
Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart and they have three teen age children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for all sorts of inspirational thoughts and good laughs.
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