He was a wanna-be lead singer of a wanna-be rock and roll band from Pennsylvania. He and has bandmates had just performed, albeit out of place, at a lightly attended country western concert in Dallas. He had just hung up the pay phone outside of a 24-hour laundromat. The phone call was the inevitable end of most long distance relationships as his girlfriend broke up with him. He was stuffed in the back of a mini-winibego. He was a mess. Nothing was going right. So, he did what wanna-be rock and roll stars do. He started writing his messy break up out onto a note pad. He put notes to it and it became a song. The song did not match their normal rock and roll sound, but neither did playing their music at a country western concert. The record label did not want to release the song. He insisted because it meant a lot to him. It was his miserable heart poured out in the form of notes and lyrics.
That song went on to be the catalyst of a couple of records that sold a collective 40 millions copies.
That is the short-version of how 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn' came into existence. The name of the band is Poison and the name of the lead singer is Brett Michaels. Both band and singer are forever etched into musical history and are likely to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The watershed moment was when everything was going wrong professionally and personally for lead singer, Brett Michaels.
Your life may also be a mess right now. Even if you are doing well as this exact moment, your life will be a mess soon. That's just life. I want to encourage you to hold on to 4 ideas that will help you survive the mess. Too often, life gets messy and miserable and our response makes it more messy and more miserable. These 4 ideas, demonstrated by a down-and-out rock and roll lead singer, might help you find your way through the mess. They might help you thrive during the mess. I’m quite sure they’ll make sure you don’t add to the mess.
Do what you are supposed to do - Life gets bad. Far too many people respond to life going bad by stopping to do life. Spouses stop talking to each other. Employees stop going to work. Students stop doing their homework. Parents stop investing time in their children. Brett Michaels, in the midst of life going bad, kept writing songs. That's what rock and roll musicians do. One of the simplest and most effective things you can do is to just keep doing what you are supposed to do. It is also one of the hardest. I have often told students that they would keep their lives moving forward if they would just keep doing the things they know they are supposed to do. That’s good advice for adults too.
Do not fight too hard against the bad things - Often when bad things happen to us we try very hard to fix them, fight against them, or run away from them. Brett Michael's girlfriend was breaking up with him. It was miserable, but by his own account, he did not fight against it. 'It was one of those ends to a relationship that you could sense it was over before it was really over. I just had to accept it.' If Michaels had spent his energy fighting against the bad thing, he may not have spent his energy on doing what he was supposed to do. There is a big difference between giving up and letting go. Bad things will happen to us and we need to let go so that we have the energy to hold on to good things.
Listen to the people that are near you and are invested in your success - The song that Michaels wrote was very unusual. It did not match up to the bands identity as a wild rock and roll band. However, his bandmates knew him, knew he was hurting, and thought it was a good song even if it did not fit their preconceived identity. When bad things crash into your life there will be people close to you that are invested in your success. These are the people to listen to. What is your spouse saying? What are your children saying? What are your parents saying? What is your pastor saying? What is your coach saying? These are people that are near you, near your trouble, and directly invested in your success.
Embrace the new things that are good but not planned - When Michael's wrote 'Every Rose Has Its Thorn' his record label said that it was not what the band Poison should sound like. The record label hated the song. The song had a country twang to it because Michaels and Poison had been hanging out and performing at country western concerts and honky tonk bars. There was no part of their 'rock and roll' plan that included writing a country-sounding acoustic guitar song. Poison was resolute that it was a song they wanted to include on their album and it became their only song to ever reach #1 on the Billboard charts. There are silver linings to clouds. Lemons can be used to make lemonade. And add all the other 'turn that frown upside down' clichés to this suggestion. All the clichés are true in many instances if you keep doing the first three suggestions. You just might come across some new things that are worthy of holding on to even if you did not plan for them.
These four things will probably NOT help you sell 40 million records or make you world famous. I think they will help you to keep going when it is not going well.
Keep on, keepin’ on, friends!
*Bonus content: Here are some resources to dive deeper on this topic: ‘Leadership Pain’ by Samuel Chand, ‘Getting Through the Tough Stuff’ by Charles Swindoll, ‘The War of Art’ by Steven Pressfield
‘Bite Down and Don’t Let Go’ is a collection of writings on being intentional about life in a way that produces great persistence. Read about it more here.
Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart and they have three teen age children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for all sorts of inspirational thoughts and good laughs.
Comments
Post a Comment