The King of Wing. That was the nickname given to me by fellow dorm mates in college. It was given to me because it appeared to my friends that I could take exams, write papers, and make presentations with very little effort. They felt I could just wing it. Ergo the nickname, 'King of Wing'. As I look back on that experience, it was not that I cut corners and didn’t want to prepare. It was that I am a very traditional student. I learn best sitting in class, listening to lectures, taking notes, and reading books. As a result, almost everything I needed to take tests, write papers, and make presentations, I gleaned from sitting in class. Preparing and studying just wasn’t a pressure I felt. I was learning and studying at the same time, I guess.
In an ironic twist of fate, as I pursued further education, grew as a professional, and just lived life I refused to be The King of Wing. I am becoming more and more committed to preparing and pacing. I have not analyzed why, but I can only guess that it is because I had some stressful experiences early in adult hood that were the result of not being prepared and having too fast a pace scarred me. Maybe it’s because my wife and I got married early (22), had kids early (23) and life just took off so fast it forced me to prepare and pace well or I would not have survived.
What I was learning, or have learned, or am learning is that the combination of preparation and pacing equals bandwidth. Google defines bandwidth as the energy and capacity to handle a situation. Why does this matter? Because you are exhausted. I am exhausted. Everyone is exhausted. The Information Age, constant connectivity, fear of missing out, exponential increases in efficiency, and lots of other factors exhaust us. Some of these factors are good, some are bad, and some are what we make of them. What they all do together is make preparation and pacing a challenge. When preparation and pacing are not managed well it results in maxed out bandwidth. We struggle to have the energy, mental focus, and emotional balance to handle things.
Life is hard, but we often make it harder. How do we get a handle on these crazy times and manage our bandwidth so we can live our lives well? First, I would encourage you to remember the themes of preparation and pacing. Simply put, preparation is getting ready for things, pacing is how many things you have to get ready for. I’ve been working on this for a while after long struggles with maxed out bandwidth. I have had long stretches of 6 day, 60 hour weeks. I’ve been forced to learn the importance of bandwidth and it is a lesson that is always learned the hard way.
Here are 5 suggestions for you on how to ensure you have the appropriate bandwidth in your life.
Show up early - My father-in-law spent the majority of his career traveling the country by plane. Traveling that much is stressful and you have to manage that stress well. My father-in-law is obsessive about getting to the airport early. Missing a flight is just too stressful and too many things can go wrong that put arriving on time at risk. The solution to it is to show up early. I have learned this lesson fairly well and try to apply it to almost every area of life. My stress goes down when I am early and my bandwidth is opened up to deal with last minute things that inevitably pop up. If you want to manage your bandwidth well, show up early.
Pay yourself - Dave Ramsey is a thought leader in financial management. He is controversial because he puts an emphasis on personal responsibility and discipline and it really stirs people up. Telling people how they should manage their personal finances and putting the blame on them if they do not does not mix well with our consumer-based western world. I find his writing really convicting and even offensive, but that doesn’t mean he is wrong either. One of his points of emphasis is ‘paying yourself’ first with each paycheck. In essence, save 10% of every dollar you earn. Why is this such a big deal? Because it creates financial bandwidth to deal with life’s unexpected challenges. Money is a very stressful topic. The Bible addresses the handling of money more than it addresses love. Money is the number one cause of divorce. The great philosopher, Notorious B.I.G., told us ‘mo money, mo problems’. Develop a habit of paying yourself to reduce your stress and increase your bandwidth.
Calendar better - The longer I live life the more I’m convinced that keeping a well organized calendar is an important stress management tool for anyone. Students are trying to balance test and project calendars. Parents are trying to plan the logistics of their kids sports schedules. Professionals are trying to keep meetings and deadlines in order. Developing the skill of calendaring is critical to keeping our busy lives in order. Here are two quick suggestions to calendaring well. 1 - the tool that you use (paper calendar, internet-based calendar, apps, etc) is not nearly as important as having ONE tool that you actually use. Whatever works for you, use it. 2 - Review your calendar daily. It is amazing how many stress-inducing catastrophes can be avoided by simply looking down the pike at what is coming up.
Say ‘no’ - ‘Why are we doing all of this!?!?’ Over two decades of marriage, my wife and I have yelled this out a lot in times of frustration. We found ourselves stretched too thin, having too many irons in the fire, too many responsibilities, and too much on the calendar. This is a frustration common to many spouses, parents, and hard-charging professionals. The ultimate answer to this problem is to say ‘no’. In almost every instance, I ended up in this frustrated state because I did not make a distinction between what I needed to commit to, what I wanted to commit to, and how the balance between the two would affect my bandwidth. I did not say ‘no’ to some of those things so that I could protect a reasonable amount of bandwidth. Knowing where the balance is between hard work, lots of good things, and simply too much is challenging. Interestingly, when I look back at the few times that I did say ‘no’ to something, I did not miss anything and did not regret it. Life just moved on and I was a lot less stressed. I would challenge you to say ‘no’ to more things. You’ll be surprised by how few people are disappointed, how few things you actually miss out on, and how much bandwidth is protected in your life.
Value sleep and activity - Our consumer-based society has a pill or powder for every health need that exists. I consume a few of them. However, prior to any supplemental assistance there are two things that I believe have a massive impact on your bandwidth. I recommend in fullest confidence that if you slept 7-8 hours every night and participated in an activity that resulted in a good sweat 5-7 days per week, you will be the best version of yourself. These two habits are ‘keystone’ habits which means that all sorts of other good things happen because of these habit. Every form of health is enhanced when we prioritize sleep and activity including the health of our bandwidth.
If you need more convincing on the importance of managing your bandwidth during these hectic times, I’ll let Gandhi do it. Twice.
‘There is more to life than increasing its speed.’
‘Hurry is a form of violence on the soul.’
Let’s all get better at managing our bandwidth and I believe we will all get better at living this life.
*Bonus content: Here are some resources to dig deeper on this topic. ‘The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry’ by John Mark Comer. ‘The Emotionally Healthy Leader’ by Peter Scazzero. ‘Master of One’ by Jordan Raynor. ‘Life without Lack’ by Dallas Willard. ‘Deep Work’ by Cal Newport.
Keep on, keepin’ on, friends!
‘Bite Down and Don’t Let Go’ is a collection of writings on being intentional about life in a way that produces great persistence. Read about it more here.
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