Worth it! 5 ways leaders can enhance their listening skills that are worth the effort

If you have ever taken on a home improvement project, you know how it goes. Your home is in a constant state of disarray during the project. Three more side projects evolve out of the original project because you think, ‘I might as well do it while everything is all torn up.’ This logic then turns the whole thing into a constant ‘day late, dollar short’ experience. It takes longer than expected. You spend more than expected. But…

The end result is extremely satisfying. I have been involved in a lot of home improvement projects during my 15 years of home ownership, and at the conclusion of every project my wife and I always say, ‘Sheesh, that was hard but it was worth it!’  

In a previous post, I described why listening is such an effective leadership tool. Spoiler alert on that post: the most powerful idea in it is that Peter Drucker described listening skills as the differentiator between good leadership and great leadership. He called Frances Hesselbein, the CEO that rejuvenated the Girls Scouts of America, the ‘finest executive he ever interacted with’ on the basis of her listening skills. It has been said that a good leader makes you feel like they are important and that a great leader makes you feel like you are important. As my career evolves, I want to be a leader that makes others feel like they are important. In order to do that I have to listen well. It’s something that I am reading and, ironically, talking more about. So here are a few methods that I have been using to increase my listening skills. They take some effort and intentionality. But much like a home improvement project, this leadership improvement project is worth it. 

Here are 5 ways to increase your listening effectiveness. 

Lift your eyebrows and open your eyes wide - The pandemic shutdown of spring 2020 forced all of us into the virtual world and as a result created some new friendships for me. One of those ‘zoom-based’ friendships was with Alan Stein Jr. Alan began his career as a basketball-specific strength coach and trained some of the greatest players in the world. He has transitioned now to a leadership coach. I co-paneled with Alan on a leadership webinar and invited him to another webinar I was hosting. What I will always remember about those two webinars is Alan’s face. His eyes were wide open and his eyebrows were lifted. He was intensely listening to every question and every response, and it showed on his face. It impacted me so much, I wrote a blog about it. Use your face to intensify your listening. 

Stand up and walk with them - It seems to me that conversations while walking with someone go to a great level of authenticity. There are some scientific reasons why this is the case. First, walking increases circulation and that releases tension. Second, that increased blood flow brings oxygen with it, particularly to your brain. This awakens the brain and in certain ways makes you smarter and a better conversationalist. Finally, all of this movement, circulation, oxygen, and ‘awakeness’ allows you to focus better. Take a walk with someone to intensify your listening. 

Jot down notes - It would only take a short trip over to Google to find a mountain of research on the impact of writing things down on your ability to focus and retain information. However, you might not find as much research on how writing notes down makes someone feel when they are talking to you. I don’t know about you, but when someone writes something down as I’m speaking to them it makes me think they mean business about thinking about and acting on what I am saying. As a leader, you can intensify your listening and show you care about what people are saying by writing things down. 

Repeat what has been heard - The exceptional leader knows how they can galvanize effective understanding by stating, ‘Here’s what I’m hearing…’ Many of us have had the frustrating experience of finding there was a massive gap between what was said and what was heard. I have found that when I state ‘here’s what I’m hearing…’ It focuses my mind on not just what I heard but what I believe the other person has said to me. I’d encourage you to intensify your listening by stating, ‘Here is what I’m hearing…’ 

Offer up a response for approval - Offering up a response for approval is a close cousin to the previous recommendation, but it clears the way for the person you are talking with to approve what you believe you heard. Four simple words can do this: ‘Am I being accurate?’ After someone has shared something with you and you have responded with ‘here’s what I’m hearing…’ follow that up with ‘Am I being accurate?’ Rarely was I not accurate and the small times I was, I had given the other person permission to correct me and that was a good thing! If you want to intensify the accuracy of your listening, ask the question, ‘Am I being accurate?’ 

Listening well is pretty hard work, but it is worth it!

Keep on keepin’ on, friends!

Bonus content: Here are some resources to dig deeper on this topic - ‘The Next Level’ by Scott Eblin, ‘The Coaching Habit’ by Michael Stangier, ‘The Future Leader’ by Jacob Morgan

‘Bite Down and Don’t Let Go’ is a collection of writings on relentlessly leading yourself and others well. Read about it more here.

Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart and they have three teen age children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for all sorts of inspirational thoughts and good laughs.