FEEDBACK FREAK: 3 key points, 7 questions a leader can use to get feedback that leads to growth

Do you want to be a high-performing leader? Kouzes and Posner in the all-time great leadership book, ‘The Leadership Challenge’, note that seeking and applying feedback is one of the sure markers of a leader that will excel. Read many thought leaders or authors on the topic of high performers (Coyle, Duckworth, Dweck, Newport, Gladwell, etc) and you'll notice a consistent theme amongst all of their observations. High-performers are obsessed with feedback. This obsession is a separator between those that grow and those that don't. Feedback stings. It pricks our pride. Our natural posture is to avoid it. Yet, you have little chance of growing without it. Over the past few years I have studied these insights on feedback and formulated a couple key points and a few questions (7 specifically for this post) that a leader can use to solicit feedback from their team that leads to growth.

KEY POINT 1: When using these questions do not defend or explain yourself when you receive the answers. You'll ruin the growth potency of the feedback AND you'l probably set the perception of your leadership back a couple of steps. Excuses and insecurity are the kryptonite of effective leadership. Zip your lip and listen.

KEY POINT 2: There is an effective response to feedback from your team members when utilizing these questions. More questions. I have found a lot of extra insight using these follow up questions. 

'Can you give me a practical example of when I did / did not do that?'

'What would you have liked me to do in that situation?' 

KEY POINT 3: Watch your tone and body language when collecting feedback. The slightest inclination that you are offended, defensive, or displeased with the feedback can cause a direct report to clam up and guard their responses. You do NOT want this. You want the truth. You want their transparent perspectives. You have to be so focused on gathering feedback that you won't do anything to interfere with it. 

Here are seven questions leaders can use to gather feedback on four critical areas of their leadership. 

Hurry is a leader's pace AND it is the enemy of connection to your team. These questions can help a leader to know if their pace is killing their connection. 

QUESTION 1: Am I accessible for you to speak with? 

QUESTION 2: Do you feel I am personally invested in you and your work?

A leader is either communicating too much or too little. These questions help you to understand if communication is a key tenet of your leadership style. It needs to be. It is a key tenet of every effective leader. 

QUESTION 3: Do you feel I communicate effectively and frequently?

QUESTION 4: Can you trust the guidance I give you? 

I like these two questions because the answers indicate whether or not your leadership is helping people grow and perform at a high level. If your leadership isn't adding value in this way, you are very replaceable. 

QUESTION 5: Am I encouraging and inspiring you to grow?

QUESTION 6: Have I helped you solve problems and acquire resources you need to be successful?

This is the wild card question. If you're not defensive and your body language and tone have remained inquisitive, you will get the answer. It might be tough to hear. But feedback is for the tough. Growing is for the tough. 

QUESTION 7: Please complete the following statement - 'It would ideal if my leader would...'

Are you tough enough to be a feedback freak? 

Bonus content: Here are some resources to go deeper on this topic - 'So Good They Can't Ignore You' by Cal Newport, 'Outliers' by Malcolm Gladwell, and 'The Talent Code' by Daniel Coyle

‘Bite Down and Don’t Let Go’ is a collection of writings on relentlessly leading yourself and others well. Read about it more here.

Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart and they have three teen age children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for all sorts of inspirational thoughts and good laughs.