Early-season volleyball tournaments are the worst. I also love them. The volleyball coach of my daughter's high school team front-loads the schedule with weekend tournaments to speed up the team’s development. Watching my daughter do what she loves is deeply fulfilling. It’s also brutally disappointing. For example, the girls played terrifically on a Thursday, defeating three opponents from much larger schools. We were riding high! I invited friends to see the team play on Saturday. It didn’t go well. They lost both games. In less than 48 hours, I went from the mountaintop to the valley as a dad and school leader. Our coaches and players felt the wild swing from elation to disappointment 100 times more than I did.
Guess what?
The wild swings from elation to disappointment are common for us all and in much weightier matters than volleyball. It’s incredible how quickly we even become irrational in our disappointed state. I’m confident you are thinking of a disappointment in your life right now as you read this because we are always in three phases of disappointment:
1) Disappointed
2) Recovering from disappointment
3) About to be disappointed
Why can’t we avoid this? Why do we have to endure disappointment so often?
Because we would never develop if we weren’t disappointed, Philip Yancey's book Disappointment with God states, ‘Success may eliminate our disappointment with God, but it also eliminates our desire for God.’ Disappointment is God’s chisel to the stone of our character and the barbell to the muscle of our faith. It moves us, maybe drags us closer to who God intended us to be. And being who He intended us to be is vital to living the abundant life He promises us in John 10:10
Here are a few quotes on disappointment that can help us embrace its developmental effect.
‘We long for certainty, but faithfulness through disappointment is how God develops us.’ - Phillip Yancey
'Disappointment is a reminder that without God, we cannot, and without us, God will not’ - St. Augustine
‘The endurance of disappointment is not just to bear a thing, but to turn it into a glory.’ William Barclay
‘Disappointments are God’s way of scheduling an appointment with you.’ Peter Scazzero
‘You waste your disappointments if you don’t let God teach you through them.’ Dr. Sam Chand
’We never learn courage without the disappointing effect of fear.’ - Phillip Yancey
I have bad news for us. We will be disappointed.
I also have good news: If we embrace God’s developmental purposes for disappointment, we will look more like Him and be a more steady version of ourselves.
Someone remind me of this the next time I’m disappointed.
Bite Down and Don’t Let Go is a collection of writings on relentlessly leading yourself and others well. Read about it more here. You can listen to the Bite Down and Don't Let Go podcast here!
Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart, and they have three children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for inspirational thoughts and good laughs.
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