TOYS AND TODDLERS: A better way to understand stressors in your life

My wife and I's first home was in the busy suburbs of Washington, D.C. It was an oasis of sorts. In one of the most densely populated areas of the country, we had the blessing of renting a massive house on an acre of land next to an out-of-date horse farm. A massive toy room was one of the home's features, and with three toddlers, we filled that room up with toys. 

When you have little children, toys are a make-or-break matter. They can provide your children with hours of enjoyment but can also be an enormous source of frustration. Toys get lost, break, the batteries run out, and pieces go missing. Parents begin to have favorite toys based on how toys respond to wear and tear:

Fragile: These toys seemed like a great idea, but they break as soon as they are dropped, for example, remote-controlled cars. 

Resilient: These toys don't break when abused but get nicked up. The wear and tear is noticeable. Example: action figures

Tough: these toys take a beating and are better because of it. Example: a baseball glove

Life is a lot like how a toddler treats their toys. You can get dropped, twisted, dragged, and even drooled on. 

But

You are not a toy. You were a toddler. You are a human being. You are not fragile, just resilient, or only tough. You are much more, and one of the ways that is demonstrated is in your anti-fragility. 

ANTIFRAGILITY is a term coined by author Nicholas Taleb. ‘Human beings are more than just resilient; they are antifragile. People are unique because they require stressors and challenges to grow. They grow rigid, fragile, and weak when not challenged.’ 

Here are three ways to embrace your antifragility 

Stress your body by working out daily. Your body matters. Keeping it healthy and well makes life so much better. Antifragile people are often the oldest people in their local gym. Ignore your antifragility; you might be the youngest person in the local nursing home. 

Stress your mind by always actively reading a book. 30% of American adults haven’t read a book in the last year, and that number is growing fast. Antifragile people read books regularly, constantly chewing on new thoughts and ideas. A sure sign you’re ignoring your antifragility is how much time you spend scrolling your phone. 

Stress your character by keeping an active service component in your life. A fast way to become rigid is to focus on yourself. Regularly serving others at the children’s ministry of your church or your local homeless shelter is a great way to keep an others-centric view of your life, which stokes the fires of gratitude and contentment in your own life. 

My toddlers would often fall with a toy in their hand. The toy would break when it hit the ground, often ending its use. But my toddler, despite scrapes, bruises, stitches, and broken bones, would recover. And they’d walk better, be stronger, smarter, and less afraid of falling again.

Don’t be a toy. Be a toddler. 

Keep on, keepin’ on, friends! 

Bite Down and Don’t Let Go is a collection of writings on relentlessly leading yourself and others well. Read about it more here. You can listen to the Bite Down and Don't Let Go podcast here! 

Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart, and they have three children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for inspirational thoughts and good laughs.