The image of that hand is my hand. It doesn't take long to notice the unusual gap between my middle finger and ring finger. The unusual curve in my ring finger showed up during warm ups of a soccer game during my senior year of high school.
I was a goal keeper and simply caught a ball the wrong way and broke my left ring finger pretty bad. I was a three sport athlete at a small school and loved playing so there was no time for a doctor's visit or x-rays or sitting out under any circumstances. I would rather play with nine fingers than not play and for a time that's what I did. Sooner rather than later, the swelling went away and the finger healed. *Unrelated: Andy Stanley has interesting insight on healing and fixing. Fixing is putting things back the way they were. You can fix a lawnmower but you can't fix a human being. Human beings heal. They get past whatever it is that broke them and many times they are stronger as a result. However, they are never the way they were. My hand is a great visual of that. It's healed and strong, but it is definitely not fixed or back to normal. It's a fascinating perspective on how important it is to be gracious and understanding with people that are broken. They won't be fixed but they can heal. Ok, back to the post.
I was a goal keeper and simply caught a ball the wrong way and broke my left ring finger pretty bad. I was a three sport athlete at a small school and loved playing so there was no time for a doctor's visit or x-rays or sitting out under any circumstances. I would rather play with nine fingers than not play and for a time that's what I did. Sooner rather than later, the swelling went away and the finger healed. *Unrelated: Andy Stanley has interesting insight on healing and fixing. Fixing is putting things back the way they were. You can fix a lawnmower but you can't fix a human being. Human beings heal. They get past whatever it is that broke them and many times they are stronger as a result. However, they are never the way they were. My hand is a great visual of that. It's healed and strong, but it is definitely not fixed or back to normal. It's a fascinating perspective on how important it is to be gracious and understanding with people that are broken. They won't be fixed but they can heal. Ok, back to the post.
The only lasting effects of my broken finger were an unusual curve and my wedding ring has to be the size of one of those lug nuts that you see on the base of a highway bridge. That curve though, sheesh, it is unsightly. I recently came across an incredible quote while reading the book Incarnate Leadership about another unsightly curve. St. Augustine, when describing the selfish state of human beings, said they are 'curved in on themselves to their own detriment.' This really made me think about how I should relate to others in a way that is 'curved out towards them'. I can't really think of a person who I consider to be curved in on them self that inspires me. I'm inspired by those that seem to always be curving out to others.
Here's some ways that we can positively influence others by curving towards them...
- Keep track of the time and make the time to be with those that you are responsible to influence or want to influence.
- Be present when with others. The world is full of constant distractions, and most of them are in the form of that smart phone in our hands. Let's collectively put the phone down and curve into others when we are with them.
- Pay attention to the 'I, my, me, we, and ours' in your conversations. Do you curve inward when talking to others and make it all about yourself? Replace 'I', 'my', and 'me' with 'you', 'yours', and 'ours' as often as possible.
- Join others on their turf. People are moved when others join them right where they are. I recently went and hung out at an off-campus gymnastics gym where our cheerleading coaches hold all of their practices. It was the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about who's turf I need to visit. I'm glad I did it. I think my cheerleading coaches were too.
After reading this book, my hand is a great reminder to myself to make sure that I curve out towards others. I'd encourage you to consider curving towards someone today.
Keep on, keepin' on, friends!
Here's some ways that we can positively influence others by curving towards them...
- Keep track of the time and make the time to be with those that you are responsible to influence or want to influence.
- Be present when with others. The world is full of constant distractions, and most of them are in the form of that smart phone in our hands. Let's collectively put the phone down and curve into others when we are with them.
- Pay attention to the 'I, my, me, we, and ours' in your conversations. Do you curve inward when talking to others and make it all about yourself? Replace 'I', 'my', and 'me' with 'you', 'yours', and 'ours' as often as possible.
- Join others on their turf. People are moved when others join them right where they are. I recently went and hung out at an off-campus gymnastics gym where our cheerleading coaches hold all of their practices. It was the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about who's turf I need to visit. I'm glad I did it. I think my cheerleading coaches were too.
After reading this book, my hand is a great reminder to myself to make sure that I curve out towards others. I'd encourage you to consider curving towards someone today.
Keep on, keepin' on, friends!
‘Bite Down and Don’t Let Go’ is a collection of writings on being intentional about life in a way that produces great persistence. Read about it more here.
Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart and they have three teen age children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for all sorts of inspirational thoughts and good laughs.
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