BUY IN: 4 ways to expect more of yourself to create more buy in

My college basketball coach was an expert in creating buy in. I don't think he even knew it. He was just insanely passionate about certain things and he passed those things along to his players. Looking back now, I know exactly why he was such an expert at buy in. I was 19 years old walking down the staircase of the academic building at my college and my coach came racing past me up the stairs. He was in a shirt and tie. It didn't appear he was late to a meeting because his head was down and he was placing a foot on every step but doing it as fast as he could. Curiosity quickly overcame me. I yelled, 'Coach!?!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING??' He stopped and looked at me almost like he'd been broken out of a trance. He said back to me, 'Chris, I'm not quick enough. I gotta get quicker.' And then he took off up the stairs. His playing days were over. I have no idea why he wanted to get quicker, but I do know he talked to us all the time about how important it was to try and get better. At everything! My teammates and I caught our coach doing stuff like this all the time. Whatever it was he was asking of us, he himself was going far beyond. If we had a 6 a.m. workout, he'd get up at 4 a.m. to read his Bible, workout, study film, and then meet us at 6 a.m.

Buy in is not about dragging people with you. It is about believing in your objective so much and expecting so much of yourself that it becomes magnetic to those that are part of your group. If you want to really enhance buy in, stop focusing on how to get others to join you and start focusing on how much more do you need ton invest in the objectives of the group. Dabo Swinney, the 2x national champion college football coach of the Clemson Tigers says that his strongest attribute is being an 'over believer'. Leaders that 'over believe' create buy in. Leaders that become experts at buy in become experts at expecting more of themselves. 

Here are four areas that leaders must expect more of themselves if they’d like to create more buy in…

To make more sacrifice - I once read that excellence is simply making habit of doing a little bit more than what is expected. Moral authority is reserved for those that are willing to be the 'lead nut in the nut house'. This willingness to sacrifice is not about irrational thinking, it is related to a deep understanding of the concept of trade-offs. With everything we choose to spend out energy on, we are always saying 'yes' to something while saying 'no' to other things. Those that develop great moral authority are driven by a vision of what tomorrow could bring and decide to sacrifice things in the short term that most are not willing to sacrifice. These short term sacrifices yield long term benefit and that draws people in to the leader. Moral authority in essence is developed by demonstrating what a leader is willing to personally sacrifice rather than what they want at the moment. 

To spend more time - If a leader really over believes in their objective it consumes their time. They think about it when they go to bed. They think about it as soon as their eyes open. It's naturally part of most of their conversations. They speak to it clearly because they spend so much time thinking about it. It is the clarity with which they speak to their objective that assists in creating buy in. Andy Stanley says that people don't follow leaders because of their character or competence. They follow leaders because of their clarity. This clarity develops only as a result of spend so much more time on the objective. Interestingly, Dr. Angela Duckworth, in her best selling book ‘Grit’, identified time spent on task as a correlation to the passion for the task. Passionate leaders are very often those that have just spent more time on their task than anyone else. Passionate leaders are often very good at creating buy in. 

To give more respect. ‘Men are respectable only as they respect.’ - Ralph Waldo Emerson. Respect is a complicated topic and as Emerson noted, it is never demanded. Good leaders understand that offering respect to others is the natural posture of being others-centered and that being respected is downstream of that. Respect is demonstrated clearly in little things. A habit of saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, taking the time to have a meaningful conversation with someone that can do nothing tangible to benefit you, or maintaining a pleasant demeanor even when the stress is piling up all offer respect. And as Stephen Covey in ‘The Speed of Trust’ noted, ‘the end result of respect is that it draws people to you.’ 

To love more people - A leader, that buys in on their objectives, falls in love with the people that are part of their group. That love for the mission and for their people makes them willing to go to great lengths for those people. The Bible calls this type of love 'agape' love. It's the type of love that is self-sacrificing. I opened with a story about my college coach, so I'll close with one too. My sophomore season, we started five sophomores. We were not very good at that point. I was a particular source of that angst because I liked to shoot and at that point I had little idea what a 'good' shot was. This drove my coach crazy. I split my chin near the end of a game at an opponent's gym one evening. We returned to campus well after midnight and my coach took me to the emergency room to get stitches. I was 20 years old. Coach had a family that he hadn't seen in days. I told him he did not have to go, but he never listens in situations like this. 18 years later, my teammates and I organized a celebration for coach's 15th year leading our program. Alumni, spouses, and small children descended onto campus. My 10 year old daughter fell and split her chin. Guess who left a celebration event in his own honor to go to the emergency room? I'll be forever bought in to my coach's leadership because he loved his players beyond any reasonable expectation.

You simply can't demand buy in. You can demand more sacrifice, time, and love from yourself. If you do, buy in will not be one of your worries.

Bonus content: Here are some resources so that you dig in deeper on this concept. ‘Visioneering’ by Andy Stanley, ‘Grit’ by Angela Lee Duckwork, ‘Culture Code’ by Daniel Coyle, ‘The Speed of Trust’ by Stephen Covey

‘Bite Down and Don’t Let Go’ is a collection of writings on being intentional about life in a way that produces great persistence. Read about it more here.

Dr. Chris Hobbs is an educational leader with more than two decades of experience. He’s earned a few degrees and won some awards. He’s happily married to his high school sweetheart and they have three children. Life is messy and complicated most of the time. You can follow him on Twitter for all sorts of inspirational thoughts and good laughs.